Learning to Love Myself: A Journey To Self-Confidence

I have accomplished some pretty amazing things in my adult life that I am quite proud of. When my children were young, I went back to college even though I worked a full-time job. The hours were long and the work exhausting, yet somehow, I made it through. My husband of 15 years moved out, and we filed for divorce when I was halfway through my Master’s program. I was devastated, but I plunged through. I can look back on this now with a great sense of pride and accomplishment. I have since remarried, and my kids are grown. They are all married and thriving. I have a career I love and a house in the country. I really do have a great life.

With all this said, however, there is still one area of my life that I struggle with daily. I have worked so hard to overcome it and have made some significant progress; however, there are days I feel like I am going backwards. You see, my whole life I have struggled with self-confidence. I am short. I weigh more than I would like. My hair turns grey faster than I can dye it. The list goes on. Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves and so forgiving of others? How do we change the dialogue we tell ourselves and learn to not only accept ourselves for who we are, flaws and all, but to truly love ourselves despite them?

For me, this process has been a journey.

A Year of Growth: The Path to Self-Acceptance

Over the past year, I have worked hard to overcome my insecurities and reprogram my brain when it comes to self-confidence and acceptance. I dove headfirst into personal development. I have read the books, listened to the podcasts, and studied God’s Word. For the first time in my adult life, I am no longer comparing myself to others. This can be a challenge, especially on social media, but I am reminding myself that what we see online is like a highlight reel. It is not a person’s entire life, but rather only the small portions they choose for others to see.

In fact, on days I struggle the most, I make it a point to stay off of social media altogether. That way, I am not tempted to compare my worst days to someone else’s best days.

The Journey Is Ongoing

Self-love and self-confidence is a journey, not a destination. It is not something you magically arrive at and then have for the rest of your life. Most people, me included, have struggled with it at some point in their life. But when we learn to give ourselves the same grace we so freely give to others, we will learn to not only accept ourselves but to unconditionally love ourselves.

When we truly love ourselves, we show up more, and the more we show up, we start to make steady improvements in our lives. As we make these improvements, we begin to feel even better about ourselves, and true change begins to happen.

Small Steps Toward Loving Myself

So for me, I can now look in the mirror without cringing at my own reflection. I can smile at myself, and thanks to Mel Robbins, I can even high-five myself in the mirror. I am actually learning to like myself and am proud of all I have accomplished. And because of that, I am even starting to make small, daily improvements. I am moving my body more. I am eating better. I am practicing self-love.

After all, I am a child of God, and He never makes mistakes.